Catch this week's episode of Mastering the Drop with our guest Dr. Melissa Balizan! Listen in as we discuss what emotional intelligence is and how vital it is for our everyday life!
Hello. Hello everybody. Welcome back to Mastering the Drop, A Real View of Recovery.. Excuse me, while I get comfortable. Um, today is one of my favorite topics. Um, I know I say that all the time, but having this conversation with my very wonderful esteemed guest, Dr. Melissa makes it even more interesting and intriguing, but, you know, Emotional intelligence being our topic of conversation is something that a lot of people overlook or think that they have slash possess only, hmm. They really don't have a complete, um, a completeness with it. They, and a lot of that's because there's not a complete understanding of what really creates emotional intelligence for people. So gaining. This knowledge and creating a, a space where we can improve, grow, change, shift, morphe of our personal confidence inside of this is, is super important.
So before I bring miss, miss Melissa in here with us, um, I thought, well, gosh, let's, let's define. Emotional intelligence for everybody just so that they get like the short version. Right? So emotional intelligence is the ability to monitor one's own and other people's emotions ha to discriminate between different emotions and label them appropriately and to use emotional information to guide thinking and behavior.
So we're talking impulse control, we're talking. Um, distress tolerance, emotion, regulation, um, just this really deep self-awareness again, this, so the self-regulation social skills, empathy and motivation. So there's, there's a lot that goes into this and it's an amazing, it's an amazing journey. So anyway, Dr.
Melissa, welcome. Welcome.
Thank you having you here. Thank you. I'm so glad to be back, Tricia.
Thanks! Um, you know, I know we had, you know, little chat before we started, but, you know, I know I could talk for hours about my journey and cultivating, you know, the emotional intelligence to the level I'm at now, you know, 10 years into this awesome lifestyle that I've created for myself, but, but you know what people like to hear from other people so, you know, I wanted, I wanted you to share, you know, your personal and professional journey with, with, um, emotional intelligence and how it serves you in your personal life and your professional life.
Sure. So for me, emotional intelligence has been a key part of my life for a very long time, probably even before it was, let's say discovered even it's been out there, but you know, somebody writes a book about it and then, oh, everybody talks about it. Um, so emotional intelligence as. When I started the workforce, um, you know, outside of babysitting let's, let's, let's qualify that
So, because I did start doing that young, and even that actually played a role with when you're taking care of those kiddos. Um, but when I started the workforce, when I was 16 years old, um, going in and going into that workforce and being able to, to understand who I am, and being able to understand who my employer is and my clients are at the time or the, the patrons that are coming in.
Um, when, when you walk in or you're talking to somebody and, and this, I, I go all the way back to there because. Now, um, cell phones were around, but not quite as popular as today, but I wanna use the illustration because somebody comes in to you. So I worked in a service industry. I still work in a service industry.
It was just a different, different, just different line of service. Um, but somebody comes in and is talking to you and you are. Talking to them or you're not paying attention to them. So, um, okay. So I was a receptionist, so I, I was sat down. They came in and asked me questions. Now, if I started looking down and doing this, whether they're talking to me that doesn't prove that I'm paying very close attention to my emotional intelligence, their, their emotional intelligence, because I'm ignoring them.
That's what they're thinking. I may be listening. But no I'm ignoring them. And let's fast forward to the cell phone age. Your best friend is talking to you and she's telling you this story about her child and all of this, these great things, or she's asking you a question about how, you know, you've already been there or done that.
And she wants to know, and you sit there and you're like, okay, tell me. And then you're like, right, you're not paying any attention to her. And she feels like you're not listening. You might be listening, but you're not actively listening. And this is all part of emotional intelligence. And I, I bring that story from way back into, in the current, because in my line of work, I didn't learn quite early enough on because I wasn't always.
Eye contact to start with because I was paying attention, but I could multitask and do a couple of things, but the emotional intelligence in the room was not perceived that way. And so I learned at a very young age to actively listen, when somebody's talking to you, if you need to look something up. Then you wait for them to finish and then you go look it up.
So we fast forward to where I'm at professionally. Now as a doctor or pharmacy people give me things. So I may be, I may have to take notes as I'm going through their, um, their assessment or they're talking to me, my ears perk up when somebody just talks and I can hear them in the, in the, or in a room.
And I hear medications or something, they'll say a certain medication or a certain disease state. And my ears are like popped up. But I'm talking to somebody here. So I need to give my full attention here. And that is the emotional intelligence of paying attention to knowing that I need to focus. And when I'm talking to Tricia, she's gonna feel that I hear her and that I see her.
and if I don't be distracted, then I'm actually gonna probably get more outta that conversation than me trying to listen over here to this, or listen over here to that. So when you're, when I'm doing professional interviews with, with my clients, I'm listening to them, I'm paying attention. I might draw a few notes down, but I'm not gonna do any major things.
I jot those notes down to maybe help me ask further question. Because that's where we need to go, but I'm paying actively attention, actively listening. So that's a key, that's a huge key piece. And I wanna say that if you, haven't learned to put your cell phone down, when you're talking to your spouse or your children or your best friend, then that's step number one.
Start with that.
Yes. Wow. I love that.
"If you need to cry, it's okay. If you need to laugh, it's okay. If you need to go outside and yell, then that's okay. Whatever this thing is that helps you get past that, that...Hurdle." - Dr. Melissa Balizan
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